July 2020

So!
It has been a while! Both on here and social media, on all of which I have been unusually quiet over the past month and a half.
I took a little hiatus from social media starting June 18th, and really enjoyed it as my last month in Atlanta quickly came to an end.
I was not anticipating staying off of social media for as long as I did, but then lots of things began happening, very quickly, and I found myself a bit overwhelmed with life, and just needing a bit of solitude and self care. So I stayed quiet, letting myself feel what I needed to feel, and doing what I needed to re-connect with myself.
Now I am here to share with all of you, what has been happening in my life in July 2020.
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The first day of July 2020 started out with a bang, being my last day at my leasing consultant job. It was a whirlwind of a last day, and I was very sad to say goodbye to my wonderful coworkers.
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The craziness got kicked up a notch two days later, when in the early morning of the 3rd, Nick was involved in a shooting. Those of you who follow him on Instagram probably saw him post about it. He was riding in our neighbor's car when someone opened up 6 rounds into the passenger side and rear window. A bullet grazed our neighbor in the back, and Nick miraculously did not get hit at all. 
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The week of the 5th was our last full week in Atlanta, so it consisted of trying to hang out with as many people as we could, and getting the apartment packed up and cleaned.
On the 13th I had a wonderful picnic in the park consisting of sake and Chinese dumplings, potstickers, and eggplants with one of my dearest friends. It was a wonderful time, and the perfect way for us to say goodbye.

And then on the 14th, two days before we were going to leave, Nick told me that he is not coming back to Ohio with me. 
I was devastated.
And shocked.
He is doing really great with his career and feels like he is so close to accomplishing what he wants, and is finally where he wants to be, after over a decade of tattooing. If he quits now and moves back to Ohio, he will never know how far he could have got in his career. We had also been fighting for a while, and he told me that he wants us to both take this time and figure out what makes us happy.
Last week he began his one year lease at his new home in Georgia.
I still have a bit of whiplash- it all happened so suddenly, and I am still stunned and confused. 

So on the morning of the 16th, running on emotions, a bit of excitement, a whole lot of apprehension, and a grand total of 7 hours of sleep for the last two days combined, I hopped up into a 16 foot box truck, said a tearful goodbye to my love, and I began on the long journey with no one but my faithful dog at my side.
The trip back to Ohio took 12 hours, with the only stops being for gas, and bathroom breaks for me and Rocco. It was exhausting, terrifying (I've never driven a box truck before!), and a bit empowering. 
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It's been twelve days since I left for Ohio.
I have not cried once since the morning that I left. Considering I cry regularly at commercials, I believe it's because I am still in a bit of shock. I am also not exactly 100% sure what is happening, I have kept very busy since getting back to Ohio, and I have been feeling so many emotions that range from anger to happiness, and everything in-between.
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I have spent my week here unpacking, putting my room together, spending lots of time with Rocco trying to make sure he is adjusting, listening to vinyl with my brother, helping out around the house, talking with my mom, hugging my dad, reading books over morning coffee in the sunroom with the dogs, and just having an all around amazing time. I even got to visit Lake Buckhorn for a day and go boating, tubing (yeah that's me, don't mind my face!), swimming, and spend some time with extended family.
​Being here has been good for my soul.
So good.
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I do realize that I am in a very unique season of my life.
I am basically starting over, and there is a large amount of uncertainty;
I have decided to retire from waitressing, and have no idea what I want to do instead.
I have no car.
I am 33 years old, back living with my parents.
I am not living with my husband-we're not even in the same state-and I have no idea what is going to happen between us.
And surprisingly, I'm not freaking out.
I am instead choosing to look at this time as an exciting season for me to start fresh, and do whatever it is my heart desires (but I am sure some freaking out will happen once the dust has settled)!

Thank you so truly much for all the support I have received from those of you who know what has been going on, and even those of you who didn't!
All your kind words and concern has meant more than you could ever know.
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​Be sure to follow me on Instagram to keep up with my daily life as I have a blast getting situated back in the country, and try to sort my life out! See you soon!

​Peace Love and the July 2020
Jess <3