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29 Reasons Why...I'm 29 and don't have a Baby!

3/12/2016

16 Comments

 
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Happy Birthday to me!!!!
Today I am 29 years old (Holy Moly!), and instead of reminiscing on birthdays past (ok I might do that a little bit), or reviewing my life's adventures and/or purpose (after all, I do that almost constantly!), I decided to write a piece about why I do not have children! Because, let's face it, once you get married, and/or start creeping towards that thirty year mark, people start to wonder! Whether out loud or to themselves, "When are you going to have a baby?!"

*Caution! If you do have babies, do not get offended! This is for me, and for all those ladies (and men) out there who feel baby pressure coming at them!*


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My 21st Birthday!
Ok so let's get right into it! Yes, I am 29 years old. Yes, I am married. Yes, I do plan on having a baby or two eventually. But not now. Whyyyyyyy you might ask (as do so many others!)? 
I have heard people say that having kids was the best thing they every did/the only thing they ever did right/the best thing that ever happened to them/the only thing they're proud of/their only reason for living. That's fine and dandy for them, but I personally would like to have a life I'm proud of that does not include children. Once I have them, of course I would like to be good at it, and be proud of it, but resting your entire life's purpose/reason for living on the head of a baby is a dangerous thing. 
So here I have for you, my 29 reasons why I'm 29 and don't have a baby!
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#1. I wanted to wait until I was married to have a baby. I just got married last year at the age of 28, and #2. I did not want to rush into baby making right after tying the knot! Getting married and moving in together was a huge enough change, throw in a living breathing dependent, and that would be just too much to handle! And #3. I wanted me and the brand new husband to have time together, just us, to enjoy each other, soak in the wedded bliss, and get comfortable with each other! Think about it, if you have a baby right after you get married, then you have at least 18 years until you can be completely alone with your significant other again! Crazy!
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My 22nd Birthday!
#4. I enjoy sleeping, #5. taking baths, #6. drinking wine, #7. blogging, #8. reading, #9. watching Netflix for long periods of time, #10. listening to loud music, #11. doing yoga, #12. having money, #13. going out with friends, #14. going on dates with my man, and #15. being on my own time schedule waaaaaaaaaay too much to give all that up for a baby! Is that selfish of me? Absolutely not! Why give up making myself happy (which is a very important thing!) to do something that is not a necessity? Yes, if I were to accidentally have a baby right now, I would do the responsible and un-selfish thing of giving up a lot of things to take care of it! But! Since I have the option, why not enjoy my life a little first?! 
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My 23rd Birthday!
#16. I like to always have my hair done, #17. do my makeup, #18. and put together my ridiculously crazy outfits! #19. I am a neat freak and want my house clean at all times! Enough said! #20. I am not worried about being too old, thank you very much to all of you rude people out there who so uncouthly stare at me with mouths agape, astonished at my plans to have children after I'm 30! "But! You'll be too old!" They shout! Well, if you must know, my mom had me when she was 31, followed by two boys, and then the last healthy baby at 38 years of age! Plus, #21. I have no desire or urge to pop out a whole herd of children, a couple will do! So that eliminates a lot of the time factor. Plus plus! #22. Me and Nick plan to adopt. We know that there are millions of children worldwide who are already born (so how selfish is it to only want a child that you have to make from scratch, when there are already ones born that need families!), and who need someone to come along and save them, give them a chance to feel loved, safe, and happy. We want to be prepared for that responsibility. 
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My 24th Birthday!
#23. I like my body too much! Ok, this one isn't as selfish as it sounds, I promise! You see, I just signed with a modeling agency, and it would be quite the bummer to have that dream dashed by a baby bump! #24. And I also just am not ready for stretch marks, gaining weight, veins, and all the other unsightly things that happen to the female body when she has a child. #25. My husband and I have great ambitions for ourselves. We want to be successful, wealthy, and have a handful of businesses that we can call ours. In order to achieve these ambitions, we need time, money, and focus. All things that, I would imagine, are in short supply when a baby is involved. I had a well meaning person tell me not too long ago, "You can't wait until everything's perfect to have a baby, or else it will never happen!" Well, as a matter of fact, I can! I'm not saying I want to wait until everything's perfect, but maybe close to perfect! I am very ambitious, smart, and determined! I have no doubt in myself, my abilities, or my dreams! So don't tell me to give all that up for something that you in your own mind perceive as necessity.
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My 25th Birthday!
#26. I donate a lot of my time to the organizations P.A.T.H.S, and Eden, both dedicated to helping the victims of human trafficking. The position I filled at P.A.T.H.S was vacant because it's pretty time consuming, and the person running it had to step down because she needed to take care of her children. I enjoy, and wish to continue working with these world-changing organizations (Added bonus! If people are bugging you saying that you need to have babies to make you feel useful, or to give you purpose, then instead, join a non-profit, or volunteer somewhere!)!  #27. Honestly, I feel like having a baby will age me! I still feel incredibly young, being on the cuff of 30 and all, but I think that having a baby will make me feel my age! And I'm just not quite ready for that! #28. Anyone can procreate! It's not like it's this huge feat that's never been done before! I was put on this earth to do great things! So I will do them! and lastly, ​#29. I was born to travel. It is my destiny, and my love. I am meant to throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in my sails. Explore. Dream. And Discover [Mark Twain]. Having a baby would seriously affect that.

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My 26th Birthday!
​So for now, me and Nick will continue our lives of dreaming, wandering, loving each other, helping others, and being ridiculously happy!

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*So next time someone tries to make you feel like the odd man out for your non child-bearing decision, show them this list, or better yet, make your own!*
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Peace Love and 29 with no Babies
Jess <3


16 Comments
Amber Temerity link
3/14/2016 02:38:25 pm

All VERY good reasons! And as for #27 - having a baby will most definitely, without a doubt, absolutely age you. Not in all ways, not necessarily in a bad way, but it will. I will be 29 in September and I have two amazing babies (Henry, who is 2.5, and Aurelia, who just turned 1). I love them more than anything in this world (except for maybe their father). With that said, I feel and look older than 29. At 26, I could stay up until 3:30am bar-hopping and stroll into work at 8am looking like a rose. Now I stay up until midnight and I have to drag myself into work looking like a zombie. Three years doesn't make that much of a difference, but babies do!!

Take your time, you're doing it your way which means you're doing it the right way. Keep bein' you and when it's meant to be, it'll happen!

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China Barbie link
3/21/2016 11:13:31 pm

Thank you for being so candid Amber! I love hearing from a person who actually knows about this!
Thanks for the support! :)

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Kal link
3/14/2016 05:34:42 pm

You can do a lot of those things with kids, and others become less important, but none of that matters if you don't want a kid. Do what makes you happy!

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China Barbie link
3/21/2016 11:14:08 pm

Thanks Kal! :)

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Ma
3/14/2016 05:45:52 pm

Haha o Jess, you are quite something. All good reasons :) I like what Kal said. Its true. And you're doing the right thing by waiting til you're ready. Love your blogs! :)

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China Barbie link
3/21/2016 11:15:00 pm

Aaaaaaaw thanks Mumsies, you're the best!
Just followin' your lead, and waiting a while :P

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Jenn
3/14/2016 05:46:07 pm

I agree with all of your reasons. It irritates me when people tell me I don't have much time left. Like I have an expiration date on my forehead. When I am ready to become a mom I will have many options.

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China Barbie link
3/21/2016 11:16:25 pm

Hahahaha love it Jenn! You perfectly sumed it up with, "Like I have an expiration date on my forehead."
Good for you, stay strong! :P

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Victoria
3/14/2016 08:37:10 pm

#4. I enjoy sleeping

Is reason enough to wait! This coming from a first-time mom :-)

Enjoy your life, husband, and your travels for now. The only thing I would say is to not assume that when you are ready to have a baby, it will just happen. I have a lot of friends who waited until mid thirties to start only to find out they had fertility issues. Some were successful with IVF but others weren't so it may be worth having the discussion with your OB/GYN when you feel the itch coming on.

Good luck!

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China Barbie link
3/21/2016 11:17:33 pm

Thanks so much for commenting Victoria, and thanks for the advice! :)

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Jill link
3/14/2016 08:38:47 pm

Love every single one of these. It's noones business why, when or even if a woman chooses to reproduces! There are millions of people on this planet already!

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China Barbie link
3/21/2016 11:06:59 pm

Hahahaha exactly, Jill!
Thanks! :D

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Sammy link
3/15/2016 05:42:23 pm

You go girl! Love this post. Im in agreement with alot of these 👌 so glad i stumbled across this ☺
Sammy @ Www.bargainbaglady.com {♡}

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China Barbie link
3/21/2016 11:05:43 pm

So great to hear Sammy! Thanks a lot! :P

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Parul Thakur link
3/16/2016 12:45:52 am

I totally go with your reasons.I am 34 and I can add 5 more to your list :)

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China Barbie link
3/21/2016 11:04:36 pm

Hahahahaha that is great Parul! :D

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    I'm Jessica!

    I've traveled all over the world, but Ohio is where I call home. I'm a lifestyle & travel blogger, and author. I love setting goals, reading, and snuggling up with my fur babies. I can usually be found at my local thrift store, or in the hammock in my backyard.

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